IVF #1

I said I would talk about our fist IVF cycle. So I will, then I will start using this like a regular blog.

So right after Bill's surgery it just so happened that I was in such a place in my cycle that we could start with our first cycle that Friday! GASP. I was given the job of loosing 36lbs. I lost 18 and they said that would be enough. So on we went.
My insurance requires that we get specific authorization for each medication so I received my meds in two packages. 

This is my first package of meds I received. 80bajillion syringes, lupron, alcohol swabs, estrace, and a sharps container. I started using Lupron for suppression of my hormones. I took this picture while I actually said out loud "wow, never thought this was how I would be making a baby..."

Bill gave me my first shot in my belly. I cried and cried and cried. He did SO well, I didn't even feel it. Every day I had to find someone to give me my shot, I sat in a bathroom in a Chinese restaurant for about 10 min willing myself to poke my belly, I couldn't do it, my summer boss had to do it for me (luckily I have known her for 10 years, so no biggie) Finally one day I just decided I had to do it myself. I grabbed my belly and squeezed hard while I gently put the needle in my belly. I didn't feel a thing!! I could do it myself!!! I went in for a suppression check where they determined it was time to start stimming. In comes second package of meds.

 

3 boxes of gonal F (including needle caps) 

1 bottle ovidrel 

a dose of hCG

Crinone (progesterone vag. sups -ew.)

and some massive intramuscular mixing syringes, with subq needle attachments.

Man was I SO happy I didn't have to use those! I started with gonalF injections and dropped my lupron injections down to 5IU (yes two a night)

 

I went in to the hospital every 2-3 days for a trans-vaginal (oh yeah, its as awesome as it sounds....I call it the dildo cam, don't judge!) as well as blood work. I don't have normal veins so that meant a pedi needle in my hand every 2 days. awesome. Sometimes it went ok, sometimes it ended like this:  

 

Ouch!

Finally my ovaries started to cooperate, cooperating ovaries look somewhat like this:

Though those little follicles look nice and plump, they aren't large enough! I stimmed for 15 days. UGH.

This is your belly after 15 days of stims 

FINALLY it was time for ER. Bill came with me, everything went well except it took them 30 minutes and 4 tries to get the the IV in my arm, they gave me Valium and just let me sob a tiny bit. When all was said and done they retrieved 5 eggs. I said to the surgeon "Oh man, that sucks". because after all that drama I only got 5 eggs out of the deal, not ok. Oh btw, they get the eggs by sticking needles up my whoohaa and poking them through my fallopian tubes and into my ovaries, they drain each follicle and look under a microscope for the eggs. 

The embryologist fertilized the eggs by thawing one of the vials and doing ICSI- Inter cytoplasmic sperm injection. They take one single sperm and insert it into an egg. The next day we got a phone call with our "fert report" Only 2 of the 5 eggs fertilized. I was sad, but we has to remain optimistic. The next day they called us to come in for a 2dt (2 day transfer) our embryos were not doing very well, their only chance of survival would be in their "natural habitat". Bill couldn't come with me, so my mom did. We joked that my mom would be watching her grandchildren be conceived. (If you don't laugh, you'll cry).

Our two embryos were a 2DP and 4CF, in real people terms: #=number of cells, on a 2dt they should be between 2 and 4 cells, 2 cells is the lowest # for it to be considered a living embryo. The first number is the grade of fragmentation (space between cell divisions) grade A-D, so we had a D and a C. The last number is the symmetry in the cells graded Good, Fair, Poor, so we had a Poor and a Fair. Here they are, my babies

  (needed the sparkle nail for focusing purposes, but they are cute!)

Then we waited. 3 days before my beta (blood pregnancy test) I started spotting and cramping. I knew it was the end, the amazing nurse moved my blood test up one day so I could have it done with, I cried so hard that night, my babies were gone, and I knew it. I couldn't do anything to help them. And selfishly I was so upset that I would have to go through this all over again. I had worked so hard on a "project" for 3 months, then it was lost. like when your computer crashes in the middle of your thesis and you didn't save it, except with a baby. When the nurse called me and told me the inevitable it was almost calming, I had closure and I was ready to move on to the next try.

My RE is going to chance everything about my meds next time. I will begin on BCPs for suppression July 8th and stims on July 27/28th, tentative egg retrieval Aug 6th (which is cute b/c its our 7 year anniversary!) 

That's all about IVF 1. Now this will be a regular non rambling blog!